I am the default parent.
And for too long, I’ve let this fact be an excuse for my unhappiness and proof of my oppression.
The idea of the “default parent” is everywhere online. We’re burnt out, burdened, oppressed and enslaved to these children we’ve created. We deserve to be upset about our circumstances and the unfair mental load we suffer from… or at least that’s what Instagram will tell you.
But I woke up one day and realized that this perspective wasn’t making me any happier. Dissatisfaction based on what I “deserved” and was lacking was growing like a big, stringy weed in me. Roots of resentment tangled their way through my mood and choked out the beauty of everyday.
So, I’m choosing to replace my “have to” with “get to.” Because I prayed for this life. I’m so thankful I GET TO take them to doctor’s appointments, be home to wipe tears and little booties, and open a fridge full of food to assemble onto baby lunch plates.
I may not like every part of this role. Often, I AM tired and need a break. But seeing these years as a burden is only robbing myself of the joy I could be (and want to be) experiencing every day that I GET to be the default parent.
