Oftentimes, our idols slip by us, unnoticed.
They subtly pull at our center of gravity, tugging our orbit away from God and more solely towards themselves.
Idols prune away at the other spheres of our lives, making space for themselves alone. Ironically, this is the opposite of what happens when we worship God—when we place our worship in him, he pours into us, shining goodness into all the other areas of our lives.
But when we make anything else an idol—and I mean anything else, even good things or people—it drains our focus, sharpening it towards the idol alone. Other important things in our lives fall quietly to the wayside because we aren’t listening. We only have ears for our idols.
So, what exactly is an idol, and what does the Bible say about it?
An idol is something (or someone) we feel we cannot live without. Not just that it would be hard to live without (possibly incredibly hard), or that we would suffer without. It’s the feeling of something we feel we simply cannot live without.
Psalm 73:25-26 says it perfectly: “Whom have I in heaven but thee? And there is none upon earth that I desire besides thee. My flesh and my heart faileth; But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever” (ASV). That means God should be the only one we can’t live without.
Spoiler alert: it’s not an easy task.
Habakkuk 2:18 talks about how deceitful idols are, but God is crystal clear throughout scripture that idols are dangerous. In fact, he considers idolatry such a serious issue that the first two of the Ten Commandments are all about it! (Exodus 20).
When it comes to motherhood, it’s all too easy to let idols sneak in. We can idolize our children, our husbands, our parenting styles, even the idea of having the “perfect family.” No joke—literally anything can become an idol if we’re not careful. So how do we recognize it?
Here are some signs and questions we should ask ourselves to figure out if we’re dealing with an idol:
- Is it something we’re always thinking about, to the point of obsession?
- Is it something we prioritize above everything else, to the detriment of other important parts of our life?
- Is it all we talk about with our friends, family, and spouses?
- Do we sacrifice listening to others because we’re so focused on our idol?
- Does worrying about it disturb our peace—even though Christ promises peace to those who trust in him?
- Are we unable to handle criticism of our idol or how we view it?
- Is our identity in Christ, or is it wrapped up in this thing or person?
- Are we using this idol to fill the void that only God should be filling?
Since we’re talking about idolatry in motherhood, let’s take a closer look at what that might look like. A mom who idolizes—not to be confused with rightly loving—her children might:
- Constantly talk about her kids and nothing else.
- Revolve her life completely around them, sometimes even spoiling them.
- Neglect her spiritual life or other relationships because her entire focus is on her kids.
- Make her husband feel sidelined or neglected because the kids always come first.
- Let her children dominate conversations, always allowing them to interrupt without boundaries.
- Only hang out with other moms and not bother with single friends or family.
- Have no interests, hobbies, or goals outside of her children or motherhood.
- Worry obsessively about her kids’ future and success.
- Spend all her time trying to be a better mom, or complaining about how hard it is—even when being a mom is her whole identity.
Now, you could easily swap out “kids” for something else—like a career, a husband, or even something as seemingly random as a favorite hobby (like The Patriots football team, Instagram, or Taylor Swift). The pattern is the same. So how do we turn away from idolatry and put our focus back on God, so the rest of our life can heal?
Turning Away from Idolatry
Acknowledge the Idol
The first step is admitting there’s an issue. Ask God to show you where you’ve allowed something (even good things!) to take precedence over him. James 1:5 promises that God will give us wisdom when we ask for it. So, ask for that clarity!
Reestablish Your Identity in Christ
It’s easy to let our role as moms define us, but remember—your first identity is as a daughter of Christ. Ephesians 2:10 reminds us we are God’s masterpiece, created for good works. That’s where our worth should come from—not from how well our kids behave or how much we do for them.
Practice Surrender
This means trusting God with the details instead of trying to control everything. Psalm 46:10 tells us to “be still and know that I am God” (ASV). It’s a reminder that he’s in control, even when it feels like everything is chaos.
Prioritize Time with God
Some days it might feel impossible, but make room for God in your day. Even short moments in his presence can recalibrate your focus and bring peace. Matthew 6:33 encourages us to seek his kingdom first, and everything else will fall into place.
Release Comparison and Perfectionism
Stop measuring yourself against other moms—or anyone else for that matter! God has called you to parent in a way that honors him. 2 Corinthians 12:9 reminds us that God’s grace is sufficient and works through our weaknesses.
Embrace Grace and Rest
Being a mom is tough, but Jesus offers us rest. Matthew 11:28-30 invites us to lean on him for strength. You don’t have to have it all together—rest in his grace, and you’ll find yourself better equipped to love and care for your family.
Live Your Faith in Front of Your Kids
One of the best ways to turn away from idolatry is by modeling faith for your kids. Proverbs 22:6 reminds us that training up a child starts with showing them what it looks like to prioritize God above all else.
By letting go of idols and shifting your focus back to God, you’ll find balance in your life. You’ll not only feel peace in your spirit, but your relationships will thrive. You’ll be able to navigate motherhood with more grace and joy, knowing that God is guiding you every step of the way.
