7 Strategies
Honestly, there are few things more frustrating than repeating yourself 75 times a day only to be met with blank stares or the infamous “But I didn’t hear you!”
Whether it’s asking your child to pick up their socks for the millionth time or requesting peace during dinner, getting kids to listen can feel like pulling teeth.
The good news? You don’t have to resort to yelling. And trust me, I know that can sound impossible when you’re running on fumes. But here’s the thing: yelling might get an immediate reaction, but it doesn’t usually lead to long-term change. Let’s dig into seven solid strategies to get your kids to listen—no megaphone required.
1. Check Your Volume at the Door
Ever notice how we tend to escalate the noise level when we feel unheard? “If they won’t listen at this level, maybe I just need to turn up the volume.” Spoiler alert: it doesn’t Instead, try speaking softly.
I know, it sounds counterintuitive, but kids are surprisingly responsive to a calm, quiet tone. It’s almost like they have to lean in and pay closer attention when you’re not competing with a parade of background noise.
Besides, isn’t the goal to be heard, not just to be the loudest? Proverbs 15:1 reminds us of the power of a gentle voice, and that can apply to parenting too. Your quiet voice could be just the thing that gets their full attention.
2. Follow Through with Consequences (Without the Drama)
Here’s the deal: kids are experts at testing limits. If they know you’re not going to follow through with what you say, why should they listen the first time? Establishing clear, consistent consequences helps kids understand that actions (or lack thereof) have results.
And no, this doesn’t have to be a big, dramatic event. It could be as simple as saying, “If you don’t come to the table now, you’ll lose screen time later.” The key is to be consistent—and calm. As much as we’d love for our kids to obey out of sheer respect and love, sometimes it’s about teaching them that there are consequences for not following instructions.
Lastly, this is key: make sure those consequences are followed through as described—without exceptions.
3. Get on Their Level
Literally. Bend down, make eye contact, and speak directly to your child. Kids respond better when they feel like they’re being spoken to as individuals, not just a passing background voice. It’s a simple move, but it works wonders.
Plus, when they see you taking the time to meet them where they are, it shows them you’re serious—and it adds a personal touch. Bonus points for gently placing a hand on their shoulder as you talk. Your presence in their personal space makes a difference.
4. Use Positive Reinforcement
Let’s face it—nobody likes to be nagged. Kids are no different. Instead of always pointing out what they didn’t do right, try catching them in the act of doing something well.
Did they brush their teeth without being asked? High five. Did they finally hang up their coat? Celebrate that win! Positive reinforcement encourages your kids to keep it up, and it reinforces that you notice and appreciate their efforts. After all, we’re raising humans, not robots who are only good for their utility.
5. Make Instructions Simple and Clear
Sometimes, our kids aren’t listening because we’ve overloaded them with instructions. “Can you clean your room, finish your homework, feed the dog, and remember to be nice to your sister?” That’s a lot.
For adults, sure, we can handle multi-tasking (barely), but for kids? Not so much. Try breaking down your requests into bite-sized tasks. One step at a time works better than an avalanche of demands.
6. Create a Routine
Kids thrive on structure. They may not like it at first, but trust me, they crave predictability. When they know what to expect, they’re more likely to follow through without resistance. Establish routines around common trouble spots like getting ready for school, doing chores, or bedtime.
This not only reduces the need to constantly remind (or yell), but it also gives kids a sense of ownership and responsibility. You can even weave prayer or devotionals into your daily routines, grounding your home life in faith and creating a sense of purpose in their actions.
7. Pray for Patience (Seriously)
If we’re being honest, parenting is a marathon, not a sprint. There are days when you’ll feel like you’ve got it all together, and other days when even your best attempts seem to fall flat. In those moments, don’t forget that God is your source of strength and patience. Philippians 4:13 says, “I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me” (WEB).
Ask God for wisdom, patience and the ability to lead your children in love—even when you feel like they’re just not listening. Getting your kids into a habit of prayer may take time, but your own prayer habits will change you. And that transformation in you will impact how you approach discipline and connection.
The Bottom Line
Getting your kids to listen without raising your voice is no small feat, but it’s absolutely possible. You don’t need to shout to be heard; you need to be consistent, clear, and, yes, patient. The goal isn’t just obedience, but raising little humans who respect and understand boundaries in a loving, faith-filled home.
So take a deep breath, lean on God for guidance, and know that you’re doing a great job—even on the messy, loud, exhausting days. They may not listen right now, but trust me, they’re learning. You’ve got this, mama.
