Today, I experienced an unexpected feeling at a wedding.
My sixteen-month-old wiggled next to me in the back of the church auditorium as piano music played. I chewed my fingernails, worried about his behavior during an hour-long ceremony.
As the bride walked down the aisle, I had a new perspective. I didn’t see myself as a bridesmaid or bride; I pictured myself as the mother of the groom. I imagined my son standing in a tailored suit, hands folded, a fresh rose on his chest, and beaming at his bride. Tears welled in my eyes — one day, someone else may have more influence over him.
But my tears transformed into a smile when my son squeaked, “Dada,” and my husband walked on stage as a groomsman. I rubbed my toddler’s back and reminded him to sit quietly, and with the help of goldfish, books and the kind mom in front of us, we made it through the ceremony.
Time is Fleeting
Although I worried about my son’s behavior, the joy of sharing this wedding together was a tangible reminder that life and the seasons of motherhood are fleeting. Solomon echoes this in Ecclesiastes: “To everything there is a season.”1 Right now, the little years feel long, but just like the seasons in nature, they won’t last forever. Time is fleeting, and the Bible exhorts us to use our time wisely. Am I a joyful or stressed mom?
When I think of using the little years wisely, I’m reminded of Moses and his mother. Moses had a few short years with his mother before spending decades in Pharaoh’s court. Yet, Moses did not conform to the values of Egypt; he continued in the ways of the Lord, as his mother taught him. Moses’s mother found joy in the Lord’s provision, despite the chaos around her.2 Similarly, are we choosing joy in the little years, even in hard situations?
After the ceremony, this bittersweet joy was augmented by three glass jars filled with marbles. I noticed these jars on a bookshelf while exiting the church lounge. Each jar had a sign, “You have 936 weeks left with your infant, 676 weeks with your preschooler, and 208 with your teenager.” I was stunned and stressed by how little time I had left. How could I be a joyful mom?
Joy is Available
I realized that my circumstances may remain, but my perspective could change. I could stress over my son making noise during the ceremony or smile at his desire to connect with his Dada. I could worry about my son’s long day at the wedding, without a proper nap, or be thankful for time spent with loved ones. I can be joyful because my child doesn’t have to be the source or thief of my joy.
Even though the little years are stressful, the Lord invites us to find joy in him, “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice” (Philippians 4:4, ESV). Some days are harder than others, but there are pockets of joy in the little years and beyond. We can remember that joy is found in being a child of God, not our children’s circumstances. But often, I act like a toddler, complaining, whining and forgetting God’s offer of joy.
Paul reminds us in Romans that God wants to fill us with joy and peace, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing” (Romans 15:13). God is the root of joy; things like children, family and special events should be the fruit. Often, I get this backward; I look to my family or circumstances to spark joy and don’t go to my Savior. The more we depend on him, the more we can point our family to true joy (joy that lasts even without a nap).
As I left the wedding and prepared for another day, I was reminded to ask the Lord for help instead of depending on myself. Like when my son vomits all over the car seat or refuses dinner and throws macaroni on the floor, I can take a breath and ask the Lord for big joy amidst little people.
Regardless of how many marbles are left in the jar, we can find joy because Jesus is returning for his bride, and we have an eternity to celebrate.
“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:4-7).
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